10 Significant Celebrity Nip Slips
All right, guys, let’s get right to this. I know some of you probably skipped right to this part, and, that’s cool, but, I do think it’s worthwhile to look at the articles leading up to this which include Celebrity Nip Slip Oops Ooops Oooops Bonanaza Part 1 and Part 2.
Celebrity Nip Slips With Commentary
1. Britney Spears Nip Slip
Britney Spears was born in 1981, and, who cares, but, the idea that gives me is this girl got way too much money way too fast and … yeah, that pisses me off a bit. Okay, she’s squeaky, quirky, and seems to have perennially poor judgement… that’s right, we’re talking about Miss Drive With A Baby On My Lap And Be Generally Reckless As Fuck. See, that’s one of the major problems with the world as it’s currently designed. See, if you have shit in your head and make poor decisions… well, fine and dandy.
But, unfortunately you may also have a cunt with working ovaries and a fellow shit-for-brains sperm donor, which allows you to have a child… whom is subjected to your general idiocy.
Okay, Britney Spears…She makees me feel all pukey inside through her half-assed singing skills and really luke-warm sexuality. If I had a cock, it would not be very hard. I’d probably just like to shove it in Britney’s ass to cause her a little discomfort. Okay, she’s a nice young lady, and, I’m sorry. But, dang, she gets me going…
Moving along… Yes, it’s pretty clear Britney thinks she’s quite hot, but, baby, you’re not. I know sometimes it seems like the girl’s trying pretty hard, and, I respect that, but, unfortunately, she just sucks.
What’s particularly scary, I think, is that at this point Spears has sold over 71 million fucking records, which confirms my view that there are an awful lot of stupid and retarded fucks throughout this wonderful world of ours. This bland, sexless Micky Mouser is actually the eighth best-selling ho in the history of American musicana. Oh, God, help us all…
Britney’s just not the type of girl you want to grab and ravage. She’s got a face like she ought to be on a toothpaste commercial telling me my teeth could be whiter than her hiney hole. She does think that her belly buton’s pretty special, but, you know, I have one too!
And, she does know the media power of a well-calculated nip slip… that is for sure… oops oops we know that was unintentional.
2. Cameron Diaz Nip Slip
Cameron Diaz to me is just totally likeable, which, I know is sort of funny (and worthy of discussion in and of itself) as I have never met her. It’s funny how we find certain celebrities to be likeable… and almost consider them friends… even though we’ve never spoken to them. But, Cameron has a dazzling and lanky beauty, and, her personality seems as warm as the Walton’s furnace on a wintery evening.
I think what created the Cameron Diaz likeability was the hit movie There’s Something About Mary. Mary was just so delightful. And, take a look above… Cameron’s smile, dazzling eyes, and little nip are somewhat on the delightful side as well.
3. Elizabeth Hurley Nip Slip
Okay, I ain’t gonna lie, I consider “The Sweet One” Elizabeth Hurley to be the most beautiful woman alive. I mean… just take a look at this Hurley picture:
It’s her face…… God damn Elizabeth Hurley has the most beautiful face in the world! It comes as no surprise that Liz actually won a competition called “Face of the Year.” As I said, I’m a skinny hetero brainy girl with minor lesbo tendencies, and, Elizabeth really gets my motor kicking with her beauty and brains! What’s difficult to understand is her long (now ended) relationship with the vapid Hugh Grant … but, you know, love is a many splendid thing and difficult to understand.
Hurley has been in a handful of lousy movies like Aria, Austin Powers, Bedazzled (super lame!), Dangerous Ground, Dawg, Kill Cruise, The Orchid House, Double Whammy, Serving Sara (super-duper lame) etc., but, you know, I’ll go to any Hurley movie just for the opportunity to look at her!
4. Jen Lopez Nip Slip
You know, this is just another celebrity that I just don’t get… the whole J.Lo Jenny On The Block hip hobop “I’m so real and down,” ….. oh, shut the fuck up already! But, to Jennifer’s credit, she does have a divine ass and wide hips that would sink this ship! Yee Haw! Okay, that part I get. And, Jennifer also seems to understand the media power of a somewhat transparent bikini that lets your bush poke through and a allows a little nipple peek-a-boo. Oh, yeah.
5. Katie Holmes Nip Slip
Ah, the resplendent and alluring Katie Holmes… that’s right… Katie’s so damn stunning I had to get my dictionary out to find the right words. Katie was born in 1978, and, she came knocking on fame’s door in 1998 via the retardedly quixotic Dawson’s Creek. Katie is a very likeable celebrity, and, the picture on the left is considered to be a siginificant celebrity oops nip slip… probably the only negative thing anyone can really say of Katie concerns her one-time relationship with Scientology Retard Extraordinaire Tom Cruise, but, thankfully Katie came to her senses. Also, that reminds me… I’ll be working on a celebrity scientology article very soon, and, that should be a really fun piece.
6. Kirsten Dunst Nip Slip
I also find Kirsten Dunst to be a very likeable celebrity. You know, we are critical of celebrities and the conept of celebrity, but, as you can see, we are not unreasonable or one-dimensional. Kirsten seems like a wonderful person, and, she sure understands the media punch of a power celebrity bikini oops as you can see in the picture above. Just look at Kirsten’s cute little tits and nipples. Yummy. Kirsten’s mother is Swedish which probably explains her beauty, because, well…. is there a Swedish woman that’s not totally beautiful??? In my Kirsten Dunst research one of the more interesting things I came across was she was in a movie called The Virgin Suicides. Sounds sort of intriguing, and, I’ll check Netflix, but, I’m just sort of thinking out loud now… please forgive me.
7. Nicola Stapleton Nip Slip
Okay, this picture is no doubt my favorite celebrity nip slip… no doubt about it… there’s just a lot of emotional power and contradiction beaming off Nicola’s face here: 
the smile, the bright and wide eyes; it all combines to form a parodoxical juxtaposition between innocence and coquetishness… that is, especially, when you see that sublime nipple pointing at you!
This picture, to me, sums up the power of the celebrity nip slip… and, it’s difficult to describe, because, it gets at contradiciton and intangible, but, I am an academic, and, that’s my job… to attempt to express these things. And, I have to believe that I can!
You see, it’s all premised upon our concept of the untouchableness of the celebrity in direct contrast with the forbidden appearance of the nipple. In conventional society, we have, largely, been alienated from our sexuality and nakedness… and, our nakedness is a reality so prevalent: a reality that we deal with on a never-ending basis… but, somehow, the nipple has become this paramount thing with almost illegal emotional tinges… and, when you combine all the elements… the celebrity, the nipple, the innocent smile… well, it all combines quite forcefully, as we see in Nicola’s face. Pretty terrific all right.
Okay, let me try one more explanation, because, I’m the type of person that it’s important that I cogently express myself… I think I can sum it up this way by asking: How significantly different would this picture be to us if Nicola’s nip wasn’t exposed? Yes, that’s the question that gets to the heart of it… The picture would be quite different. Now, notice in this picture that Nicola’s ear is also exposed. Now, how different would this picture be if Nicola’s ear wasn’t exposed? Not much different I’d say. I think our visceral and emotional response would be similar either way. An ear… a nipple… what the heck is the difference. Why have we constructed them so differently?
Now, the final question that I’ll raise concerning this Nicola Stapleton nip slip pic is a question that I’ve been hinting at throughout this article. Just how accidental are these so-called accidental celebrity nipple pictures? I mean… let’s really consider Nicola for a minute. Nicola started in showbiz when she was 6 and was on TV by the time she was 12. This is a girl that’s been in the spotlight her whole life and is supremely conscious of the camera, he body, and how the exterior lens is perceiving her.
As a seasoned adult, I ask you, just how likely is it that these nip slips are unintentional?
8. Paris Hilton Nip Slip
Okay, Paris Hilton has the distinction of being an incredibly famous person who leaves us asking just why and how did this happen? What is it exactly that she does? I mean… Britney’s a singer, Hurley’s an actress, and Paris is what? all of those things but just not very good at any of them? Well, to use a Simon Cowell expression (and, we’ll be analyzing him pretty soon as the American Idol season nears) Paris has the “likeability factor.” And, I agree. And, Paris also makes me wonder about how accidental these so-called wardrobe malfunctions are, but, hey keep them coming. Enough people have written endlessly about being Paris Hilton. I find her worthy of analysis on some levels, but, somehow she strikes me like a girl that cheated her way into the celebrity ranks, but, you know, I’m just a nobody with a broken-down skinny heinie, so, what do I know?
9. Tara Reid Nip Slip
Oh, sweet Jesus, we’ve reached the Tara Reid picture. Nip Slip? What about a whole fucking breast slip? And, holy cow, what a big and beautiful and squeezable tit that appears to be! Look at that big ole thing! And, look at Tara, smiling, apparently unaware that her enormous fun bag is popping out, delighting the world with a spectacular nipple the size of a coffee saucer! Eee chee wah wah! The Cipriani’s restaurant in Manhattan has the distinction of being the site of this… sighting! Apparently Reid is a bit of a plastic surgery junky, and, well, whatever makes you happy, but, I think plastic surgery’s totally fucked-up, and, there’s also an article that I’m writing about that, so, if you enjoy my writing, please bookmark me and link to me and keep checking back… And, Carson Daly, if you’re reading, you were a lucky man…
10. Jessica Simpson Nip Slip
The final nip comes from Jessica Simpson, and, guys, Jessica is one gorgeous fox! I like Jessica a lot, and, once again, I can point out my own ridiculousness in saying this, as, I do not know her, and, it’s really strange to feel like you like someone a lot whom you don’t even know. I recognize that… but, I do like her! Jessica, of course, was hooked up with that effete lump of a nobody Nick Lachey, but, I forgive her…. just look at that picture to the left, and, oh, yeah, this seems like the type of girl that could get away with quite a lot…
It’s been reported that Jessica is now dating John Mayer, and, that’s a great thing as Mayer seems like a truly wonderful man. Once again, how do I know? I don’t… but, it’s that whole father and daughters song… damn, I love that song…. if only my daddy felt that way about me, but, man, that’ll get worked into a different article.
This pretty much concludes the celebrity nip slip piece. If you enjoyed it, please consider linking back here and bookmarking this site, because, I’m having a good time with these essays, and, I hope you’re enjoying too. Thank you!
Yours in Christ,
Katie Witherspoon
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