Well, this one is a kick in the seat. I’m sure a lot of you guys had childhoods like mine, and, amidst the general trauma, cultural nightmares, and fleeting joy: you had that fucking Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip… as a reoccuring backdrop…. Man, it really fucks-up my head and blows my mind when I think back to my childhood and pick up these flashes of television memory …. I mean my daily memory is corroded from my years of drugs and alcoholism, and, believe me, I definitely couldn’t tell you what I had for dinner yesterday, but, I’ll be damned I remember The Land Of The Lost with that little Chaka freak, and, I remember Wonder Woman and I remember the little cartoon with the fucker who could breathe under water if he took some tablets and I remember Mister Rogers and I remember actual episodes of The Incredible Hulk and actual episodes of The Dukes Of Hazard…… I mean, I remeber the actual stories and plots of the asinine antics between the sexy Bo Duke and Boss Hog and the General and Daisy Duke … like the one where Roscoe farts and wrecks as the General is leaping over the canyon… oh, you are right… that would be every episode…. not to mention the Brady pukies and, you know, when they went to Hawaii and had high adventure…

And, I certainly remember the episode of Gilligan’s Island where the volcano ended up going backwards somehow… maybe it was some invention of the Professor, but, I was a damn little kid and I remember with some hilarity watching the volcano suck up all the lava and smoke and so forth ….. oh, hot damn ….. and, the whole cast of characters….. didn’t any of them have a libido… that’s what I wonder… do you get on that Island and all of a sudden start geting doses of Salt Peter in your cocunut juice? I mean… somebody should definitely have been fucking Ginger… there definitely should have been an episode where Ginger’s getting it doggy-style from the hefty skipper with the Prof and Gilligan waiting in line … of couse, Gilligan would have trouble maintaining his erection, so, you know, that paradox of wholesome skankiness Mary Anne could be waiting on hand as a sort of fluffer…. didn’t Mary Anne often sport some Daisy Dukes?

Yeah, I would have definitely remembered that episode of The Island… I mean… they’re on a fucking island! what else do they have to do? I mean… sure, they were always trying to escape, but, shouldn’t they just have concluded that the Professor was in fact a complete fucking retard after he botched-up the “getting-off-the-island” invention for the 50th time? And, what’s up with all the respect shown Mr. Howell…… the snooty, effete cocksucker… he may have been Sir Trumpy in the real world, but, on the island he was just another broke-ass nigger craving some caviar and fine champagne …. and, you know how depraved men are…. if Mr. Howell were that dopey-rich-pimpy he would definitely have arranged some sexual-healing escapades with Ginger as well…

Okay, so, even though we know that humans have sex drives; different rules applied on the island, and we never saw Tina Louise with her boots in the air…. and, there were three whole seasons of the show which afforded that opportunity… Gilligan’s Island aired from 98 episodes from 1964 to 1967, which is interesting, because it was already in reruns by the time I was born, and, somehow I just have the impression of the show being on forever and there being endless episodes… perhaps because every fucking episode was the same …

Anyway, what brought this fond trip down memory lane was a video I spotted over on You Tube, which features the original Gilligan’s Island pilot theme song, and, it’s a calypso kick all right… I saw someone described it as bizarro universe, and, it does seem to have that quality about it… only thing missing is someone pulling Ginger’s g-string down… (and, you know she wore one beneath those sexy Hollywood gowns!)

Important ideas, concepts, and terms in this post:tv, television, Gilligan’s Island, Gilligan, Ginger, Ginger Grant, the Skipper, Tina Louise, Mr. Howell, original theme song, celebrity, actor, actress

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