Well, I was driving to the local McDonald’s in this little dopey town today when I saw a most amusing sign:

New Look For The Holiday
Jessica Simpson
Hair Extensions!
—————-

Well, I laughed a little to myself. I didn’t know that Jessica Simpson had hair extensions. Well, I laughed to myself and wondered if they offered Jessica Simpson boob extensions to compliment the hair extensions. : ) And, if you get both, maybe they’re through in a free Jessica Simpson nip slip manual . Jessica does have a knack for drawing attention to her tits.

Speaking of which, I notice that a lot of people are finding this site via the following search: Jessica Simpson’s tits. So, I know what’s on your mind America! But, okay, here you go:

All right, let’s get back to the hair extensions… or, more specifically, the sign out front of the beauty salon in the tiny little town I was driving through… see, this isn’t a complicated point I’m making… you need not be a genius to understand it… but, the idea is there and it’s important. You can clearly see how the beauty standards get set even in a little dinky town that’s barely on the map… that’s right.. the standard = Jessica Simpson!

Now, it just so happens I sort of like Jessica… or, maybe it’d be more accurate to say I enjoy writing about Jessica. She’s quite likable, and, her antics and ploys and attention tactics are just so interesting… and, she has such an appealing face and eyes, she reminds me of an actress from a previous era… that’s why today I gave Jessica her own folder to the right… I notice a lot of blogs are into bashing Jessica Simpson, but, there won’t be much of that here …

I appreciate Jessica’s situation… she’s a celebrity, and, she has to continually be concerned about staying in the limelight … in people’s minds… sure, she’ll push a nipple out now and then to accomplish this task… can you really blame her? She didn’t make the rules… she didn’t create our pathological cultural relationship to nudity and the nipple in particular. Besides, I don’t think the nipples are all about attention… you may recall, I sort of concluded that Jessica Simpson simply loves her tits and is a bit of an exhibitionist. Not really exhibitionist in the classical psychological way, but, more so she gets a little charge, I hypothesize, out of showing off her fine body in ways that aren’t completely socially acceptable. And, as I’ve written, what our society considers acceptable vis a vis the nipple is absurd. Jessica is daring… And, I like that! If I had her body, you bet your Grandpa’s farm I’d be showing it off… hell, I might be a pole dancer! (Okay, time for me to return to reality… I’m a boring academic with a skinny heinie.)

This is about Jessica Simpson … you see, another thing I like about Jessica is she, despite her success, which is considerable, still retains something of an outsider quality. And, it goes back to when she was 12 and failed to become a Mickey Mouser. And, of course, Britney Spears, Christina, and Justin Timberlake all succeeded with the Mickey Mouse dream. But, not Jessica! Yes, that factors in to why I like her… something about that seems to confer a bit of an outsider quality …. a bit of, dare I say??? pathos ??? I mean… what are the hair extensions really about? Still having a little bit of an inadequate feeling with how your are? Your normal beautiful hair, Jessica, isn’t good enough? You need to extend it?

But, Jessica, even if you extended your hair from here to China it will not make you an ex-Mickey Mouser!

Okay, anyway, even in little nothing towns Jessica Simpson’s hair is in demand. That speaks volumes. After I saw the amusing sign, I went into McDonald’s and ate a ten piece of chicken nuggets… yep, it’s not on the menu, but, they have ten pieces now! And, I thought about how I wanted to get out of the little town, but, strangely enough it’s the site of a renowned feminist research center… and, the center deserves its reputation.

On the table at the McDonald’s was a sign that said, “Now hiring smiling faces!” That struck me as rather absurd. Make about minimum wage and receive no health benefits and burn your hands on french fry grease while dealing with a bunch of overweight and obnoxious customers … what the fuck would you have to smile about?

Yours,
Katie
Important ideas, concepts, and terms in this post:Jessica Simpson, hair extensions, beauty salon, McDonalds, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Cristina, Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mousers, failure, audition, feminism, feminist center, celebrity, fame, nipples, boob, nip slip, Mickey Mouse Club, sad, alienation

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