Wow, I’ve got a really disturbing infomercial on right now for a product touted to eliminate acne. Now, a word about acne and pimples: this is a very natural thing that occurs in life (particularly to teenagers.) Now, I’m not a dermatologist, but, I think it’s fair to say that acne is an eternal aspect of our universe, and, the thing that makes it so terrible for so many people isn’t the acne in and of itself… it’s us! We put people through hell by not accepting the way the universe works.

And, we refuse to accept life because we can make money by making people feel lousy about themselves.


So, we get Jessica Simpson into the act saying, “Clear skin is sexy skin.” OH, shit, I’m feeling a little ugly now. Jessica’s telling me to “get it and try it and there’s a money back guarantee so why not.” Um, Jessica, aren’t you supposed to be like singing songs or shoving your ass in the air somewhere?

Then we’ve got, I believe, Vanessa Williams with the deadly serious face telling us what a nightmare a little acne is supposed to be to us.

Because, of course, what makes a sales pitch more effective is sprinkling in some celebrity testimonials in with those of regular folks.

“Hi, I’m Jessica Simpson and if you’re like me your skin is far from perfect. It leaves your skin glowing, vibrant, and fresh.”

Jessica Simpson then tells us that people come up to her and say her skin is just glowing.

That’s funny. I thought people came up to Jessica and told her that her nip was sticking out or that she had a beautiful ass.

Then, we hear from Lindsay Lohan:

“I think it’s normal to feel insecure if you have a breakout.”

Um, Lindsay, shouldn’t you be, like, drunk somewhere?

And, they even get brother Sean Puff Daddy Combs into the acne act:

One of the secrets that a lot of people don’t know about me is that I used to have bad skin.

Great Sean.

You famous fucks want me to feel ugly so you can make money off me. You’re not my friends.

Then, that infomercial ends and kapow! … without missing a beat I’m hearing, “It feels great to have a dancer’s body.”

I feel lousy now and am looking for the vodka bottle.

Skippy
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Important ideas, concepts, and terms in this post:Jessica Simpson, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, Lindsay Lohan, acne, celebrity, celebrity acne, pimples, marketing, commercialism, skin, flaw, blemish, ProActiv, insecure, money, profit, capitalism, greed

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