Well, some of the boring twats that make up our universe (that would be virtually everyone) tried to force us out of existence. They didn’t like some of the celebrity articles we published. See, we just had to break it down about figures like Rosie O’Donnell, Michael Richards, Mel Gibson, and, of course, Publicist Cindi Berger…

The folks who didn’t like our truth killed our advertising accounts and so forth…but, guess what. It’s not about the money over here. It’s about the truth. It’s about exposing how our American celebrity culture is dragging the world down into a morass of the evil and inane. It’s not a joke. And, it’s not a novelty. And, you can’t get rid of us.

So, somebody didn’t like our truth and they went around complaining to our advertisers. And, most of them backed-out. But, see…here’s the thing.

WE’RE STILL RANKING FOR YOUR NAMES! And, you know, maybe next time people will think twice about glibly brushing aside viscous anti-Chinese humor. No, the rest of the media may have moved on; but, we still don’t find anything “funny” about degrading a billion people with your Ching Chong antics!

And, you know why? Because we’ve got youth and truth on our sides…and, one little teensy weensy inconvenience for you:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Yea. We’re back. Sure, Katie’s an alcoholic, Holy Roller and I’m a nobody bartender and LaTosha’s just a black girl going through another divorce. Yea. I know that’s how the world looks at us. But, wake up call Hollywood. Somebody’s going to put some truth down!

Celebrity Satan REBORN!

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