There seems to be an aspect of human nature in which we like to point out the bad in people while ignoring the good. I’ve seen this time and again, and, it is discouraging. In AA, I actually identified this reality as one of the reasons why I drink.

Consider Lindsay Lohan. The blogs and media love to point out her indiscriminate copulations and various drunken debauchery… but, what about the good side of the girl? She does have one… and, why don’t we pay more attention to that?

For instance, last night she was at a WWE event, and, she met with children from the Sunshine Foundation. I know the cynics out there can say it was a cheap publicity stunt; but, I choose to believe that Lindsay cares.

Technorati Tags: Lindsay Lohan, John Cena

People like to give me all kinds of hell because I’ve said–on the record–that Lindsay Lohan is one of the most beautiful women alive. They tell me she’s a whore. Well, to begin… whether or not she’s a whore doesn’t interest me. Second, there’s a lot of hypocrisy going around with how we define whore. Double standards. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman having a sex drive. So, that criticism is dumb.

Basically, Lindsay has a beautiful face that you’re more likely to see on a European girl. But, she’s ours. I love her hair too. And, the angular face. And, the color of her eyes. And, I love the Mona Lisa sort of cryptic expression that you can see in the recent photo below.

People want to say that I’m a loser of a bartender, and, I just need to get laid. Well… maybe.

I don’t want to fall into the trap of comparing Lindsay’s beauty to Marilyn’s… because, that’s exactly what the powers that be want me to do. They want us to just compare women based upon physical attributes. And, that’s what New York Magazine is trying to do with their recent pictorial in which Lindsay mimics a famous Marilyn Monroe photo shoot.

Rather, let’s focus on problems with the original Marilyn Monroe picture legacies. They cemented the idea of the blond aesthetic into the American consciousness, and, thousands of women thereafter felt unglamorous for being natural brunettes or redheads etc. It reinforced the idea that sexy is connected to large breasts. And, it further reinforced the idea that female attractiveness has a “dumbbell” component attached to it.

On the plus side (pun intended), the female weight aesthetic at that time was not nearly as skinny and unhealthy as its become.

Anyway, there is no link and no pictures here. I don’t want to legitimize this throwback nonsense with it. The nature of icons is that they can’t be recreated. Lindsay is unique in her own right, and, she shouldn’t be imitating anybody. She should actually be busy working on straightening her own life out.

And, fifty years from now… I don’t doubt there will be a Lindsay Lohan photo shoot recreation.

So, you stand in the background clapping and singing… and, yea, it’s got to hurt.

Stan

Granted, I can’t resist putting in some sexy ass shots now and then … but, I am a man.

It seems like there haven’t been any real good celebrity fuckstakes lately. I mean a good fuckstake like when Michael Richards twat went into his nigger nigger proclamation. Or like when Mel Gibson twat went into his Hitler routine. Or when Rosie O’Donnell fats went into her Ching Chong monologue.

So, what the fuck is happening? The celebrity a-holes are behaving. And, yawn. That’s not what it’s all about damn it!

Yeah, if you’re looking for a celebrity baby bump you came to the wrong place. And, let me add… if you are the type of anonymous nobody who’s actually searching the web for “celebrity baby bumps”… please proceed immediately and quickly to the corner of Get A Life Boulevard and Fuck Off And Die Avenue.

All we’ve got today is that Amy Winehouse’s incarcerated husband appears to have heroin od’ed in prison.

Yawn.

Celebrity Satan Stan Hammer

I noticed a long time back that there’s definitely something immensely dangerous about even the tiniest drop of fame. And, for the American Idol finalists who don’t win; but, who do get that little brief (and soon forgotten) exposure, this little splash of ephemeral fame is just enough to damage their lives.

Point in case: Jessica Sierra. Now, you may be thinking that Jessica might very well have screwed-up on her own… even if she never had her American Idol experience. That’s possible. However, she would have screwed-up differently. She wouldn’t have had the Vivid porn feature, Jessica Sierra Superstar, in which it’s purported that her male co-star has his thumb inserted in her anus while copulating with her doggy fashion.

No, she wouldn’t have had that. And, we can laugh. When the thumbs not in our anus, it’s easy to laugh. But, presumably, Jessica may live for another eighty years, and, this will be her life. This will follow her around everywhere. And, that’s not the entire story.

It’s also reported that Jessica, who’s currently in a California rehab (as court-ordered) is no longer pregnant. I don’t know if there’s anything sadder than losing a child. What she needs to do is separate herself from the whole culture: and, that includes Dr. Drew who is not nearly as innocent as he presents himself. He’s a parasite beneath the fancy suit and smooth speech and sympathetic demeanor and expensive haircut. He’s just another parasite feeding off the disaster that is the whole celebrity pathology.

Technorati Tags: Jessica Sierra, American Idol, Dr. Drew

One of the most disturbing trends I’ve seen in the celebrity subculture (which is filled with disturbing facets) is the media and paparazzi focus on the babies of celebrities. While I understand the perverse celebrity fascination of our culture is naturally going to extend to the celebrity’s children, it is still a very troubling development.

It seems to me that there’s just something very wrong about the numerous pictures of celebrity babies that are all over the tabloids and magazines. It seems that people should have the decency not to publish such pictures… but, as my friends have pointed out, I’m living in a dream world. No, not exactly… I’m living in Jesus’ world actually.

Forbes has gone so far as to validate and make acceptable this whole practice by recently publishing Hollywood’s Most Influential Infants. They’re going to declare that Shiloh gets top honors while Sean Preston Federline is #5. How twisted can you get?

Shame on you Forbes for helping to propagate this sick obsession. It’s truly terrible when a mainstream source is going to further make acceptable something that shouldn’t be exploited.

I understand that the media and paparazzi are going to jump all over the famous adults who have voluntarily put themselves in the spotlight. And, that’s fine. Here on the website I founded we too take critical looks at these people and their effect on the culture; the children, however, did not choose the spotlight and they deserve the peace and anonymity of childhood.

Technorati Tags: celebrity babies, celebrity infants

You folks may remember our award-winning, hard-hitting piece, Britney Spears Looks Like A Crack Whore. Well, we are pleased to say that Brit has progressed in her crack whoriness… and, in these recent shots… bitch really look like a crack whore!

You don’t believe me? You think she’s just a nice young mommy?

I give you Exhibit A:

Now, I hate to admit that Brit dressed like that does get me sort of horny tho……

In an intriguing story, it’s being reported that the paparazzi scum (who are partially responsible for part of Britney’s weird pathology) are now scared of being made dead-dead by the ultra-scary Los Angeles gangster bad boy Crips and Blood. YEAH G! Can I get a hell to the yea mothafuckas!

Sorry. But, certain photo agencies are saying their competitors are arming these gangster thugs with Nikons and sending them off to strong-arm exclusive pics of America’s favorite fuck-up. I’ll tell you what… as ridiculous and outrageous as this whole things sounds… it also seems pretty believable too $$$$.

All I want to know is what the fuck going on with black boy? I come back in from grocery shopping, and, it seems I left the tv on… and, CNN on, and, this black boy Bobby Cutts is belly-aching, and, he crying in a weird way in court room as he’s telling a weird story and shit; shit left me confused. The brother is going on and motherfucking on about mulching the yard and shit and emphasizing the words in a strange way and repetitively like he illiterate and shit… then nigga talkin’ at length some bullshit about how a band aid come off his finger in the shower and about driving home with a snow cone for his daughter and shit… then he stopping and like pretending to cry it seems and wiping his face with tissues and waving hands dramatic and shit.

I ain’t never heard of Bobby Cutts. It seems he on trial for accusation of killing his white girl girlfriend. Ain’t that like a nigga to be chasing after some overweight white tail! Fucking niggas! Good for his weird black ass going to jail hopefully.

Imani just called me and she say that Cutts pregnant girlfriend somebody named Jesse or Jessie Davis or some shit, and, Cutts accused of killing her pregnant ass. Damn. That’s some cold-blooded shit brother man! I know your ass innocent until proven guilty; but, damn… your ass is there on the stand to begin with! My black ass ain’t! No, why that? And why white girl got so much make-up on?

I like Tyra Banks. She’s like a drunk cheerleader at retard camp. I love her enthusiasm for ridiculous activities. She ain’t faking that enthusiasm. She’s just got a seriously fucked-up sense of humor… and, I like that! Now, let’s just hope she don’t shit herself any time soon.

…and, that’s what it’s all about. You know… I’m going to judge Picasso based upon his paintings. I ain’t got no concern about all the different twats he stuck his Spanish ding-dong in. And, likewise with Winehouse. The blogs like to blast the dysfunctional bitch because she suckin’ on some dick and suckin’ on some crack pipes… what the fuck do I care? that’s her business.

Besides, here in America we’ve got our heads so far up our asses that we’ve criminalized the hell out of drugs rather than sought treatment programs… and, why? Because of da MONNNEEYY! Anyway, Winehouse is a singer, and, she’s a good one, and, she got rewarded royally at the Grammy Awards and you can read the other follow-the-leader, boring-ass, twat, celebrity-website bloggers who will provide you with all the details.

I’m not motherfucking CNN. I shove opinion around. Otherwise, I wouldn’t do this shit. Check out this video which features Amy gyrations and other uniqueness that was seen via satellite. Also, check out this mondo page Katie put together of Winehouse videos.

And, check this shit out:

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Was the show supposed to take place in fucking Nazi Deutschland? And, when crap is terrible enough the first time around… why do we Americans feel the need to regenerate and venerate the bullshit?

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Well, you know Amy Winehouse has got to be a pretty bad girl. Her recent visa denial, if you ask me, only adds to her street cred. Troubled soul my ass. That’s just euphemistic language for fuck-up extraordinaire. It hurts, though, because she can’t attend Sunday night’s Grammys, and, the darling-young-lady does actually have six nominations. I guess that’s what happens when tawdry, crack-smoking videos get floated of you on the internetz. LOL. Really, though, don’t you think we’re a little hard on drug addicts in America? I could go into all the incarceration statistics (and lack of treatment/help alternatives), but, I don’t want to put you to sleep… you either hear me or you don’t. Dig playa.

EDIT: I see Katie added a page filled with Amy Winehouse videos.

Stan Hammer