Hollywood History Part 2
Cowboys And Indians: Hollywood Style!
We’re all familiar with the Hollywood conception of “cowboys and Indians,” which we were treated to in the twentieth century. And, then, of course, there are countless movies which falsely depict our non-white brothers and sisters as simplistic and inferior. Just take a peek at Steven Spielberg’s Indiana Jones Or Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom or Gunga Din or Sergeant 3.
As Dr. Kaziand Navroze Kotwal wisely argues:
“Images of non-whites as savages have been a mainstay of the Virtual Reality of Western cultures for many generations. In order to justify slavery, blacks were portrayed as beast-like, animalistic, and violent.”
And, likewise, in order to justify our American genocide of the indigenous tribes, our dear Hollywood has pumped out endless hours of film showing us the crazy, barbaric Redman. C’mon everybody now: slap your hand against your mouth repeatedly and make the “AAAAhhhhh! Aaaaaaaaaah! Aahhhh!” Indian sound. Are we having fun yet Harrison? You bet your ass Stevie! Ah, you fuckers…
And, as suggested, irony of ironies, on the very land, our modern day Hollywood, California; which has ushered forth all this misleading trash into the world… on this very land some 7,000 years ago you had the beautiful Chumash culture, who had really lovely and civilized ways. Oh, irony of ironies! And, you’re wondering why you hadn’t ever heard of the Chumash people. Well, that’s why. Oh, celebrity Satan…
Okay, let’s jump 1,000 years ahead to 6,000 B.C. At this point quite a few tribes of the Shoshone cakewalked their way into California proper. They were knocking the icing off their laces all over current Los Angeles and San Bernardino. And, when you’re rolling in your Benz pimped-out ride and in the Bernardino, are you ever thinking about the Shoshone who were skipping across that very patch of land. Oh, you’re not! You know you’re not you fucking fuck! And, that’s a big part of the problem.
See, despite what you didn’t learn in your elementary schools and expensive universities; despite the nonsense which the Hollywood cinema has indoctrinated your pea brain with; some 8,000 years ago out in our dear Americana Cal-i-forn-i-a, the Chumash, 
Tongva, Tatavium, Miwok, and Ipi Tapai tribal folks all formed a caring and loving civilization which rock and rolled for thousands of years, and, you know, the red, white, and blue color combination meant, um, absolutely nothing to any of them… sorry.
Of course, all this was wiped out in about 50 years. You see, Spain used to be the big boss of the new World. The proverbial shit as the kids say. We forget this and tend to think of them as Spics and trash. Anyway, just as we’re currently now doing, Spain pissed away their wealth and natural resources and expanded their empire via brute force and the Bible.
Spain Meet California
In 1769, July, Spain invaded Alta California and plopped some missions down. On August 2, 1769, the Spaniards rolled into Yang-Na, currently known as downtown shitville, I mean Hollywood! The Spanish fuckers pissed, both literally and figuratively, right into the natives’ sacred waterway, currently called “that big toilet” … I mean the Los Angeles River! A couple earthquakes shook the frijoles out of the Spaniards and they crapped their chinos because they figured Dios was angry. And, we are modern and sophisticated and we scoff at this notion. But, they were right. Celebritysatan.com believes the foundation of the universe was revolting against the pathway for future evil which the Spaniards were gleefully blazing.
And, on January 16, 1770, the Spanish bastards zipped through the Cahuenga Pass, and, for the first time in the history of the world, a European stood in Hollywood; oh, the beginning of the end! Oh, bulimia! Oh, depression! Oh, divorce! Oh, drug fuckheads and drunks galore! 
Oh, popping horse tranquilizers to lose weight! Oh, I’m getting ahead of myself! First the filthy Spaniards had to chop down all the cactus… how fitting! All of the different native tribes were declared Spain’s property and lumped together into a single tribal group the Spaniards dubbed Gabrielino. They went on to chop Hollywood into two: Rancho La Brea and Rancho Los Feliz. Los Angeles was originally a pueblo created in 1781 (really not so long ago!)
And, you know how it is… take any totally fucked-up event in human history and you can pretty much bet your sweet as that if the Germans weren’t responsible for the beginning, it won’t be long before they’re knee-deep in it. And, in 1828, a Kraut immigrant, John Krauty, purchased all of the village of Yang-na. Please consider for a moment just how blasphemous this was… this land, sacrosanct for millennia, bought up by a dirty Deutsche boy. And, naturally, by 1835 the number of remaining native Injuns = 600. How the fuck did that happen? Fill in the blank motherfucker.
California Joins The Union
In 1850, California joined the Union. In 1851, the United States Congress demanded all the Spanish and Mexi land ownership to be confirmed by our own American Gestapo… I mean authorities! This was basiclly just a way for the Americans to wrestle away the land, which, obviously, lol, they did. Okay, whitey fucks over the wetbacks… things are beginning to seem much more comfortable and familiar… that is to say… modern! Yippee!
Soon enough, American farmers zipped from all four corners and bought up the Cahuenga Valley. Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day! Before you can say “vicious genocide,” oranges and lemons are coming your way. 
The legwork has been completed. The path has been set. It’s been a long, long pregnancy, but baby evil is kicking in the womb and wants out. And the Mama is sweet Daeida.
Daeida’s only child, a daughter, died when she was 19 months old and… it all seems somehow fitting. You see, Harvey Henderson Wilcox and wifey Daeida Hartell Wilcox, from Topeka, Kansas, were religious abolitionists, which is yet another fitting irony of the story! The founders of Hollywood, the toilet responsible for disseminating so much racism, sexism, and general pathology, was founded by some deep and truly spiritual folks who believed in the unity of mankind! A couple of Methodists who scorned “that demon alcohol.”
Harvey and Daeida Wilcox Hate Evil
Harvey and Daeida moved to Los Angeles in 1883. They had some bucks and some dreams. These two idiots bought 160 acres and renamed it “Hollywood.” That was Daeida’s idea: Hollywood. You see, sweet Daeida heard a stranger on a train speak affectionately of her Hollywood home, which was near Chicago. Daeida wanted her own Hollywood, and, she got it. Appropriately, it would seem, their attempts to plant actual holly all failed, as, the climate just wasn’t right.
Anyway, Harvey and Daeida, as mentioned, had a dream: to create a Christian utopia, free of booze, loose pussy, and all other evils; where fellow Christians could all gather and live holy lives in accordance with Church teachings. And, that’s the thing when looking at the history of Hollywood: just when you think things couldn’t possibly get more ironic, another layer is added. Consider our modern-day Hollywood with its decadent celebrity culture and then remember that Hollywood began as a sweet little town that outlawed the sale and use of booze… and this preceded national Prohibition!
And, the Wilcox’s were off to a beautiful start. You see, they divided their 160 acres into streets and avenues. Franklin Avenue was at the northern edge; Sunset boulevard on the south; Hudson Avenue on the east; Grover street on the west. They planted lovely pepper tree rows along the streets as well. The first official registration of Hollywood was on February 1, 1887, when Sir Wilcox filed a Hollywood street map with the Los Angeles city Recorder.
Continue Reading: Hollywood History Part 3
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