This is about the Jersey Shore oinker that goes by Snooki. The no-talent, fatso Polizzi is a good example of what gets Katie so worked-up. I swear I’m beginning to understand that white girl better…and that scares me a bit. What gets her pissed is how no-talent people can slip their way into the celebrity, elite class. Now, she has criticisms of all aspects of American fame, but I understand why the focus of disgust is on this particular aspect.

It’s one thing if someone has some real, genuine talent that sets her apart… such as someone who can sing, dance, act, or is damn good looking. Yea, at least if they get fame, you can say that there’s a legit basis for the spotlights. And, I do understand the problems with that more legitimate type of fame. The good Lord knows I’ve heard Katie lecture enough times about how our American celebrity ideal comes to be associated with eating disorders etc. She’s always telling me to think sociologically: which is just a way to say think about how the world affects a person. And, I’ll be damned but I guess I’m learning something in community college! And, Katie says I should now give full disclosure: Katie’s helping me to write this, so you may notice that my grammar, syntax, and cognitive expression is less ghetto than usual.

See, I still got my humor. But, back to Snooki. One asks himself: “What is the basis of fame for pinheads like Snooki, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, et. al.?”

I’m sorry but the pathway is basically some vapid, reality television: generally vulgar, video footage piped into the homes of every blockhead from sea to rancid sea. And, that’s often followed up with a sex tape. And, then you get your Wikipedia article and frequent mentions on news sites, tv, celebrity blogs, etc.

But, it comes back to the question: What is the basis for the fame?

And, the question is now answered. The basis for the fame is simply being put into a context (eg. tv) which makes you famous. And, the question sort of repeats now with a slight twist: What is the basis for being put into the context which makes one famous?

And, it would appear to be a combination of cheap sexuality and American-style vulgarity. And, why are these qualities the basis rather than other qualities (such as talent, altruism, interestingness, intellectualism, etc.)?

That’s because the American public simply cannot get its fill of cheap sexuality and vulgarity. While that may sound unkind, I’m not here to lie to you folks. And, if you think I’m wrong, go ahead and leave a comment. I don’t know what happened because there was a time when ya’ll left comments left and right, but that doesn’t happen as much.

I have a theory though: Katie’s writings are just too damned complicated. She’s always been an academic, but she used to be better at writing in an accessible way. I don’t know what happened to her, but she just doesn’t care. I did actually ask her in a roundabout way, and she said, “I have to be me. And, the real me is not a being that can relate to the masses.”

While I appreciate white girl being honest, and I appreciate her self-awareness of her species being, I do think that this type of elitism can be counterproductive because you should want to express yourself to your fellow humans in a way that can be understood.

Now Katie’s arguing with me. I guess the funny part about this whole thing is she’s helping me write this very article, so I’m telling her what my thoughts are, and she’s telling me how to phrase it, and she’s like, “Comma here, semicolon there, what!, I’m not really like that!, etc.”

Anyway, Katie’s got her own obsessions about conceptual celebrity…she’s mainly interested in it when you treat celebrity as a conceptual institution, and you think about how (sometimes abstract) it affects people. And, that’s a worthwhile and somewhat mysterious aspect.

As for me, I’m interested in the WHY behind the public’s interest in celebrity and fame. I didn’t even realize it until she told me, but my basic inclinations are those of a philosopher. I want to ask the WHY questions: the type of questions that really can’t be answered. For example, it was me who gave Katie the idea for her latest article.

Yep, it was me. She was drunk and talking to me about how all these celebrity sex movies and parodies affected people. She was going on and on about how it leads to unmeetable expectations, eating disorder, body dysmorphia, obsessive compulsive disorder, and sexual dysfunction. I said, “Yea, but why do people want them in the first place!”

And, that gave her the idea. Because I want to know the WHY, while lesser minds want to know the HOW. And, that inspired her to write the recent article about why people want the movies, pictures, etc.

But, there appears to be a parodoxical relationship. Or maybe we could just call it reflexive: and which comes first?

1. Celebrity and what goes with it projects an unrealistic fantasy that people then desire and internalize but can’t obtain.
2. People’s desire for escapism and fantasy leads Hollywood to produce the content so people can consume the desired, celebrity-generated fantasy.

But, is there an order of actual causation? Is Hollywood meeting the preexisting demand? Or is Hollywood creating the demand and then meeting it. Or is there an intricate, forever unfolding dialectical-type of relationship in which both things naturally unfold together, symbiotically, continually feeding off each other and reinforcing each other? That seems more plausible to me.

Anyway, back to Snooki. Like I said, I’m not that interested in the HOW of Snooki. Besides, I think it was addressed above HOW a no-talent figure like Snooki (or Paris, Kim, et. al.) achieves celebrity status. I want to know the WHY of Snooki.

For instance, WHY does the public even care if this zero-talent, unattractive, uncultured female is pregnant? That’s a great philosophical question from my point of view. And, we return to the other dilemma. Is Hollywood fulfilling a natural desire for escapism… or is Hollywood creating the desire? (This is presuming, for the moment, that escapism is the factor…which does seem reasonable…even if, likely, there are multiple factors.)

See, I say that it’s Hollywood that’s creating the fodder, but feeding a normal desire. Because I don’t think it’s natural to sit around wondering if repugnant Snooki is fat, pregnant… or what Snooki’s so-called big announcement is… or what type of vapid bullshit she’s expounding upon with her ever-so-unimportant Twitter feed. Again, why does anybody care what’s in Snooki’s twitter feed?

It’s not natural to be obsessed with this sort of nonsense. But, it is natural to desire escape from reality! This is clearly evident from the world’s history: from alcohol, drugs, religion to occupation. A certain segment of people have always sought escape. These days that desire can be filled by Snooki. But, what happened to the good old days when people just smoked a joint or drank a liter of vodka?

Katie’s latest annoying thing is yelling at me and Stan to write analysis of the blurry overlap between Hollywood celebrity and politicians. I finally understand why she wants to do this… it’s because she’s writing some fancy academic journal bull fuck where she saying that politics creates a very special kind of celebrity… and she’s looking at figures like Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwaranegger, Warren beaty eyes Beatty, Sean Penn, Madonna, George Gooney Clooney, et. al. (LeeRoy just taught me about et. al. …black girl grinning)

So, I don’t know how Katie even get any writing done she drunk all the time. I guess that’s why she’s yelling at me and Stan to do the writing. But, if politicians are a special type of celebrity… so what? I think what she’s getting at is that some folks get into politics for similar reasons that some peeps get into acting… just a desire for fame. And, she also mentioned some bull fuck about Freud and how desire for fame is somehow linked to sexual drive and something about … hang on I’m gonna call Katie right now… okay, it’s before noon, and she’s drunk, and she said she’s teaching a class at 2PM… I told her she best take a bottle of Listerine with her…

Anyway, Freud, in Civilization and its Discontents, discusses what be called “an oceanic feeling,” which means that the actor has no type of limits of feeling between herself and the universe because of ego… and, see, the desire for fame is a way to really master this oceanic… or something like that…

Anyway, fuck drunk Katie… back to this assignment. There ain’t much to say but that Snoop Dogg gave his own brand of subtle Snoopy endorsement to political man Ron Paul (by the way some folk be saying he racist, but I don’t believe for a minute that this sweet little crazy old man could possibly be a racist pig!) Anyway, it appear Snoop Dogg like Ron Paul because little Ronnie in favor of legalizing marijuana, and we all know that ole Snoopy love to smoke da blunts… and Snoop getting arrested every other day because of the kush, and Katie I don’t really know what the fuck else you want me to say… there an example of politician and famous rapper intersecting! Now leave me alone white girl!

And, I’ll tell you something else Katie… you complained that I be calling you white girl, but you never made a good argument white girl. You should have quoted Foucault:

…we must rid ourselves of a whole mass of notions, each of which, in its own way, diversifies the theme of continuity

Oh Katie white girl I know that F Man quotation gonna fuck yo white ass to the moon! LOL! Yea, college boy LeeRoy I be hanging with be teaching me all sorts of knowledge! You bitch! So, here’s the Russel Brand Katy Perry post you want! LOL in yo whitey face!

Katie I do not know why you so fascinated by this bullshit! Basically, Russell Brand look like a funky monkey of a werewolf, and I don’t know what white girls be seeing in that white boy! I guess I right cause I see Katy Perry ditching Russell sober ass. Former drunkie werewolf ass used to like his Jack Daniel and druggies all over da place. Katy Perry still be a party girl.. she want to put on silver boots, blue hair and shake her white girl ass all over da dance club. So, there you go … and fuck you other Katie leave my black ass alone. ANd, as for you Skippy… yea, I know Katy Perry get yo white weenie horny… here’s a picture of da celeb twat for ya loser boy.

Damn…sometime all there is for a black girl to say is damn. There be a lot of critique negative about our black men…and, I gotta say that a lot of that shit warranted. Yea, we got Barak OBama now, and I proud of that…I love Obama and I think he gonna be best President ever. Since Obama got elected, sometimes I chant USA! USA! I ain’t lying!

But, for every Obama making us proud we got 100 stupid ass black men such as Charles Barkley to make us look bad. Sir Charles? Sir my fucking black ass! Typical nigga lookin’ to get his cock sucked!

Look, ya’ll, I ain’t that uptight. I know we people + we got sex needs. Yea, I get that. But, what we don’t HAVE to do is drive around drunk looking for blowjob and tellin’ cop about how it be best blow job of life and shit.

I get that we people and we make mistakes. Yea, I get that + I made pleny of mistake in my own life. But, black people already looked upon poorly by a lot of folk, and now we got new President I hopin’ that black people be handling themselves with more pride + shit. I mean…can you see where I’m comin’ from?

LaTosha

I just got a call from geeky Skippy. He say that Katie drunk on his floor puking again. Damn girl. That vodka be your Satan. But, anyway, he be such a geek he be telling me about this thing call Analytical Googling where he be seeing how people find this website. He call me periodically + tell me the same shit. Damn that white boy need a life. He obsessed with celebrities in a different way than Katie. Katie try being philosophical white girl who want to talk cultural connection + shit… I talking to her drunk ass a couple day ago. You know what she going on and on about?

She talking about how celebrity responsible for anorexia + shit. Now, I know where she coming from…but, I think she makin’ a big leap because I think fashion model also do that shit…but, I also think the standards come from us a little bit too. Thing that bother me about Katie is she want to assign causality completely to celebrity. I say…wait: what about free will + shit niggas??!! What about a person who in the midst of the minefield but navigate through and find a little bit of happy in life?

Katie always want to act like everybody powerless over they destiny. That the person just acted upon. But, people also actor too. I don’t think Katie appreciate that I got intellectual side too. She act like I a dumb black girl. She never will say that because she a big liberal type…but, ghetto teach you how to read people. OH, yes it does!

For Skippy, his obsession with celebrity is basically cause he a weird guy and horny. But, he can’t be totally weird because most of America obsess with celebrities. Why? Cuz they lives are boring puke. That why. But, Skippy a man and horny and be talking about Elizabeth Hurley and Anita Dark. I say who the fuck Anita Dark? He say she his favorite actress. I Google that shit and say that bitch is pretty but she a porno ho. But, yea she got pretty eye and nice face. But, Skippy just a horny loser.

I know he going to read this. I don’t care. He just think I a dumb black bitch. Anyway, Skippy laughin’ saying that the majority of people find this site by searching for celebrity vagina, celeb vagina, and celeb pussy. And, it true! And, I think to myself, “Damn, people, it just a little hole that baby come out of.” Sure, I know fellas it feel good when you stick your dick in there…but, damn, what sort of weird fucking people getting all obsess with celebrity pussy. The bitches that started this crazy shit be Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears…and, the queen of it be that Sharon Stone Basic Instinct leg cross where she flash her white girl pussy for a millisecond, and everybody go shit fuck crazy.

Oh, what a fucking fuck up crazy planet.