Everybody knows I’m the only real man at this site. Sure, I’m influencing Skippy apparently, but Skippy is still a total panty waste of a wimpy Nancy boy… So, that’s why I got the following email today. It reads: “Yo, Stan Hammer. You the only writer at the Satan that’s got any balls. Skippy is a f*g. Yo, Stan the Man… I want to know your favorite celebrity nip slip ever. Fuck it up, Jake the Snake.” All right. First, I’m not too into the whole Jake the Snake bullfuck. Second, there’s no debate in respect to your question. AnnaLynne McCord, running through the desert, provided us with the best celebrity nip slip in the history of the world. Look at those nipples!

Skippy here again. Katie’s pissed about the nude celeb vids. Too bad Katie! We have a deal. And, I’m posting the stuff that makes me “ooooh ooooh so horny!” And Shannon Elizabeth falls into that sexy of a horny goddess bitch category! Check the video (this is a good one!)

Her big goddess tits, flat tummy, shapely ass, and white panty pussy drove a host of zit-faced, movie-going adolescent sissy twat boys nuts in American Pussy Pie. Old gal’s now about 38 in 2012, but she still a hottie tottie in a Milfy sort of way. Oh, speaking of celebrity milfs, I did put up some new coverage of that delightful niche: celebrity milf video.

There’s nothing quite like an older gal who keeps her body in good shape. You know, given her age, that her pussy’s gotten a pretty good work out over the years… and, she’s so sexy in a tired-out, used-up sort of way… and, you’d just like to mount her and get a little more usage out of her woman parts like she’s a rusty Kawasaki that still starts for you once in a while if you don’t get too cheap on the oil.

I just got a call from geeky Skippy. He say that Katie drunk on his floor puking again. Damn girl. That vodka be your Satan. But, anyway, he be such a geek he be telling me about this thing call Analytical Googling where he be seeing how people find this website. He call me periodically + tell me the same shit. Damn that white boy need a life. He obsessed with celebrities in a different way than Katie. Katie try being philosophical white girl who want to talk cultural connection + shit… I talking to her drunk ass a couple day ago. You know what she going on and on about?

She talking about how celebrity responsible for anorexia + shit. Now, I know where she coming from…but, I think she makin’ a big leap because I think fashion model also do that shit…but, I also think the standards come from us a little bit too. Thing that bother me about Katie is she want to assign causality completely to celebrity. I say…wait: what about free will + shit niggas??!! What about a person who in the midst of the minefield but navigate through and find a little bit of happy in life?

Katie always want to act like everybody powerless over they destiny. That the person just acted upon. But, people also actor too. I don’t think Katie appreciate that I got intellectual side too. She act like I a dumb black girl. She never will say that because she a big liberal type…but, ghetto teach you how to read people. OH, yes it does!

For Skippy, his obsession with celebrity is basically cause he a weird guy and horny. But, he can’t be totally weird because most of America obsess with celebrities. Why? Cuz they lives are boring puke. That why. But, Skippy a man and horny and be talking about Elizabeth Hurley and Anita Dark. I say who the fuck Anita Dark? He say she his favorite actress. I Google that shit and say that bitch is pretty but she a porno ho. But, yea she got pretty eye and nice face. But, Skippy just a horny loser.

I know he going to read this. I don’t care. He just think I a dumb black bitch. Anyway, Skippy laughin’ saying that the majority of people find this site by searching for celebrity vagina, celeb vagina, and celeb pussy. And, it true! And, I think to myself, “Damn, people, it just a little hole that baby come out of.” Sure, I know fellas it feel good when you stick your dick in there…but, damn, what sort of weird fucking people getting all obsess with celebrity pussy. The bitches that started this crazy shit be Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears…and, the queen of it be that Sharon Stone Basic Instinct leg cross where she flash her white girl pussy for a millisecond, and everybody go shit fuck crazy.

Oh, what a fucking fuck up crazy planet.

Today I was putting together the Reese Witherspoon gallery, and the pictures where she’s dressed like a Playboy bunny… her ass etc., well, truth is it got me sorta horny so I was doing some searches for things like Reese Witherspoon bikini. The thing is that I only found one semi-decent picture where young Reese is sporting a blue bikini…but, I did find a really cool and genormous one of Jennifer Aniston’s bikini ass!

Don’t you be listening to these jealous bloggers and shit out there. A lot of them are just angry, pissed women who pray to God All Mighty that when they’re 42 they look half as good as you! I mean…these days it seems we’ve got our own resident LaTosha who’s talking all kinds of bullshit about everything under the sun.

I see that LaTosha’s calling me gay and crazy about war and a whole bunch of bullshit. And, she’s forever referring to herself as “black girl.” Well, black girl, your idiotic ghetto shit has brought my ass right back to write for this site again! And, honestly…between you and Katie…Katie’s always talking about her eating disorder and feminism and…well, at least she’s not talking about Jesus anymore! I guess she’s degenerated back into alcoholism. Good! She’s sexier that way! But, between the two of you, this site has really been going straight down the shitter.

The site is called Celebrity Satan. It’s not called “two bitches bickering about bullshit.” So, time to inject some male testosterone back into this bitch! Can I get a hell yea!

And, that brings me to the topic of this post. Sweet baby Pamela Anderson. The other day she joined Dutch magic man Hans Klok at his Dutch magic show. And, blond girl looking fine! Oh, hell yes! Pamela Anderson, you are looking hotter than the grill over at Sizzler baby. See, I need to give you this positive reinforcement because I see all these blogs are saying that you’re too old and you ought to be keeping your clothes on. Bullshit. Pam, your ass is looking FINE! Your ass is still a beautiful work of art. How I’d love to pull that little bathing suit down and get behind you…you blond Goddess!

How I dream of massaging your backside. I’d do anything for you…you 42 year-old MILF of MILFS! Oh, how I’d just worship you…and your ass! God, how I love your ass. Let’s look at it it for a long time! Oh, Pamela…ever since your BayWatch days you’ve been launching male fantasies over the world…and, you still are! Pamela, you will be getting men horny for as long as you’re alive. It’s sort of crazy…but, you are just so damn sexy! I love you! Ignore all the stupid idiots. Keep on showing off your succulent camel toe as you do in this picture below…keep on doing that! I love how you purposefully made sure that the crotch of your bathing suit was intentionally way too small for your special region! If only every woman shared your attitude.

Stan……. rock it ……..